Nap Roulette

My family loves to play games. One of the first things my husband and I bonded over was board games, and we passed that love of games to our children. As a family, we enjoy playing board games like Settlers of Catan and Carcassonne and card games like Dominion and Dutch Blitz. But the game I play most often is one I play alone—I call it Nap Roulette.

It’s called Nap Roulette because every nap is a gamble. The “rules” are nonexistent, and it’s pretty unpredictable. Will it be 20 minutes? Two hours? Will I wake up refreshed, or will I be even more exhausted and need to keep sleeping? I never know, but I spin the Nap Roulette wheel at least once a day. I never set an alarm, because there’s no point; if I do set an alarm, I usually fall back asleep anyway.

Obviously, it’s not a game—I discovered it’s a sleep disorder: idiopathic hypersomnia. Having a sense of humor and a positive outlook helps me better deal with the daily reality of living with a chronic condition that doesn’t have a cure but does have treatment options. 

It took me more than 20 years to get a diagnosis, and it’s one that’s unfamiliar to most people I know and even some medical professionals. By sharing my story, I hope to raise awareness and help others find answers sooner.   

Before I Knew It Had a Name 

I wasn’t always into Nap Roulette. My childhood was spent outside, playing tag and climbing trees. I enjoyed reading and rarely had difficulty with my studies. But during my junior year of high school, something began to shift. The first time I noticed the difference was in social studies class, where we were gathered around an old television that hung from the corner of the room. As I leaned forward on my desk, I became overwhelmingly sleepy—the kind of sleepy that makes you want to crawl into bed, flip all the lights off, and tune out the entire world. 

I struggled to keep my eyes open, but fell asleep right there in front of the television, my chin resting on my hands. My head eventually slipped off my hands, and the jarring sensation jolted me awake. I felt so frustrated and embarrassed. I had no idea how long I had been asleep, I didn’t feel remotely refreshed, and I just hoped no one had noticed.

Then it happened again. And again. I found myself struggling more every day. Once I fell asleep while taking a chemistry exam. I had no memory of falling asleep, but upon waking I had long pencil lines across my paper—as if I had fallen asleep mid-problem and dragged the pencil with me as I laid my head on the desk. 

I didn’t give much thought to the sleepiness. I assumed I wasn’t sleeping enough and promised myself I would go to bed earlier. In actuality, I was getting plenty of sleep. I went to bed relatively early, slept in as late as I could, and always took a nap or two on weekends.

In 2001, I graduated high school and started college. The freedom to pick my own schedule and courses was something I craved, and I was excited that I could start classes later in the day! I thought if I attended later classes, I would be safe from the ever-present need to sleep. It turns out that wasn’t true. Not only could I fall asleep during a 5 p.m. lecture on ecology, but I could also sleep through more exciting activities like going to the movies, concerts, and live theatre performances. 

The worst part was that my grades began to suffer. During my sophomore year, I more or less slept through the entire semester. I began skipping classes, and could usually be found passed out on my dorm futon with the door wide open for everyone to see. I suppose it looked like I was out partying all the time and needed to sleep through the day—but that was not the case. I was just so tired.

When I would come home from college, my siblings got angry when I insisted it was my naptime. This was often the reaction others gave me; I was an adult, I shouldn’t need naps. So instead of getting help, I got better at hiding it. But the naps kept coming.

Something I Couldn’t Outgrow 

As the years went on, my life continued to change and grow—but Nap Roulette stayed the same. After I got married, when my first child was a newborn, Nap Roulette became an officially acknowledged part of my everyday life. 

On one particularly jarring evening, I fell asleep after dinner while watching television with my husband. I woke up confused and suddenly concerned, because all was quiet, the house was dark, and my daughter was nowhere to be found. I shot up out of the recliner, and my husband calmly responded that he had put our daughter to bed, and it was bedtime for us also. I know many people would probably not be able to sleep if they woke up from a nap right before bed, but my words that night have become a catchphrase in our house. I smiled and replied, “I love it when I wake up from my nap, and it’s time for bed!”

I had been teaching since 2006, eventually landing in the middle school science classroom. I moved across the country (twice!), and had a second child. Life kept moving, but was punctuated by my need to spin the Nap Roulette wheel at least once a day, and sometimes much more frequently. I still didn’t understand what was causing this excessive need to sleep. 

My husband and I would joke about how I could sleep for 12 hours at night, wake up and eat breakfast, then take another nap, but, in reality, it wasn’t a joke. That was my life. When I was working, I would somehow manage my sleepiness by taking short naps when I could, walking around during a meeting, or drinking a zillion cups of coffee. My husband would be the one to get up with the baby and take care of him in the morning so I could get some extra sleep. Nap Roulette wasn’t a game, it was running my life. 

Diagnosis and a Path Forward 

It took 21 years to get a referral to see a sleep doctor and ultimately, a diagnosis. I was 36 years old, and I had been living with excessive sleepiness for so long that I was convinced it was just part of who I was. Thankfully, my neighbor and good friend gave me the tools to be persistent and advocate for myself.

It was a tough road to get the referral. My primary care physician knew about my sleepiness, but it never felt like something she took seriously. She ran tests for my thyroid, gave me a depression questionnaire, and at one point suggested it was all because I was a teacher and a mother. My interactions with her left me feeling helpless, and made me question if what I was feeling was real. In the end, it was not my PCP who referred me, but another doctor I saw when she was unavailable. I had gone in for a skin rash and left with a solution—and a referral to sleep medicine.

After a sleep study, wearing an actigram to track my sleeping habits for two weeks, and several meetings with the sleep doctor, I was officially diagnosed with idiopathic hypersomnia with long sleep time. Idiopathic hypersomnia is characterized by excessive daytime sleepiness and the need to sleep for long periods at a time, but never really feeling refreshed. This was me! I was so relieved; it confirmed that something serious was happening, and it also meant there were treatment options. 

There is no cure for idiopathic hypersomnia, but I now take a combination of daytime stimulants and a nighttime medication. These medications allow me to get an appropriate amount of sleep at night and function during the day.

Keeping a regular schedule when it comes to sleeping is really key. Any variation to my schedule can really throw me off, so I try to be in bed by the same time every night. I lay down and read for 30 to 45 minutes every night, and then put the book down, make sure my alarms are set up, take my meds, and go to sleep! It’s also really important to listen to your body.  

I still play Nap Roulette sometimes, but I don’t feel like the game controls my life anymore. I understand it is part of my life, and embracing it with a good attitude and sometimes even a sense of humor gets me a lot further than resenting it. 

I wish I didn’t need naps, but I still do, so I look at them as an investment into my future self. I may never win a game of Nap Roulette, but not having to play so frequently has allowed me to add some games into my rotation that I actually can win. I’m the current Dutch Blitz champion in the house, and I don’t see my winning streak coming to an end any time soon.

By Mary Murray

Source: SleepWorld Magazine Jul/Aug 2025 

Mary Murray is a teacher, mother, avid reader, and lover of travel living in Los Angeles. She was diagnosed with idiopathic hypersomnia at the age of 36. As a Rising Voices of Narcolepsy advocate, she hopes to help others understand what it’s really like to live with this rare disorder. Connect with Mary on Instagram at @theunsinkablemarymurray.

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